Thursday, February 25, 2010

I Can Walk and Fart and Not Break Stride (Dedicated to Uncle Moe)

Yep, that’s about it. Who care’s how old we are getting, if we can still accomplish our goals, then we are not yet ready to kick the bucket or call ourselves old. It takes years of practice to accomplish the above stated goal. I mean just think about it, when we were babies we farted and crapped our pants and really did not think about it cuz we really couldn't think yet, it was a natural reaction. Maybe it was the smell we were looking to accomplish for attention, but if we couldn't think yet then it was not intentional, but just meant to be . As we got a little older like 8,9,10 and early teens it was just farts… yes farts anywhere and everywhere. The louder and more smelly they were the more we laughed at ourselves or at the ones who were taking the brunt of our home made smelliness. “ Come on Pull my finger”…RIP ONE LOUD ONE hahahahahaha.

I mean let’s get serious here, boys were taught that one by our dads and uncles and older brothers. It was also an attempt to piss off our mothers and sisters who would just say “That’s disgusting” and “Stop It” or “What the fuck is that smell” It was and still is the way that men can amuse ourselves. Yes, farting when younger was all about learning how to get on one’s nerves. Now, as to how women learned how to get on men’s nerves, I digress to the above and it was just meant to be, inherent in their genes. Most women are sneaky when it comes to farts, they have also learned that over time, they are the queens of the SBD’s , yep blaming the dog and stuff like that.

Ok so once again I find myself off topic which is not unusual … Ok so getting older men learn not to fart as much and as loud on purpose anymore because it is disgusting as hammered into our heads by our mothers, sisters and wife’s. But we still get out the occasional SBD ( in which we have learned that technique from ???) But as Uncle Moe said, “I can walk and fart and not break stride”. Yes that is only an accomplishments one can do as they get older. It took Uncle Moe 50 years to finally reach that stage, it takes talent and conditioning and many years of practice and experience to reach this level. So my overall premise in everything is that we are not get older, but to use the old cliché “Just getting better”

So yes, this was a disgusting and tasteless example of us not really aging yet, we are still in control of many things that are around us and our bodily functions at least. And when you are really getting old and not just thinking about it you will know. We are told we will revert back to old habits and sometimes like we were a child again, farting and crapping our pants. But of course that “Depends” upon you.


Anonymous said...

BUT, as we get older, we learn to NEVER TRUST A FART....and never pass up a urinal.

Anonymous said...

FYI--not all women think that this bodily function is disgusting. As a matter of fact I know some women who could give the "big boys" a run for their money. Me, I think they are funny as hell, except for the ones that are sooooo smelly they wake you out of a dead sleep. Keep up the good work Ed, you have me laughing here.