You know, as adults we run into all types of situations everyday in a variety of circumstances. There is stuff going on at work, at home, on the golf course or wherever you spend a lot of your time. Every situation of job has its’ own terminologies that we have to understand. Like if you are a computer person, you and your coworkers talk in computer geekish terms like megabytes, gigabytes, RAM, this computer bytes, bite my byte and you know where you can RAM that hard drive.
So that’s one situation. Now let’s talk about how to understand teenagers. Yes, they have their own language they talk with their friends which I will not even begin to try and decipher because those terms change on a day to day basis. You know when I was growing up we used terms like cool, neat, you asshole, dickhead. When you liked someone, you were dating or going steady. In those times girls dated boys and boys dated girls. We tried to have one on one dates most of the time and an occasional double date was OK. Now it is different, they hang out in groups and have date nights although they just hang out in groups, watch movies and you never know who is with who because it switches from day to day. Oh the Drama, the gossip, the heartbreak, it’s all still there but just in a different format. I just can’t keep up with the things they say and do when it comes to their friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, etc. so I just go into the other room and drink a full glass of vodka while my wife tries to interpret things and explain stuff to me later.
However, there are some things about teenagers and the things they say and do that I can understand and that is in their communication regarding things around the home. It has taken many years of training to understand, but in the long run I think I got it. ( NOT) Never assume you have it when it comes to these almost adult beings who again I remind you are here to cause us all anguish and anxiety until they leave for college and sometimes even while in school and afterward.
Here are several examples of things they will say and what they really mean.
Dad: Can you bring these clean clothes up to your room. - Teenager: Sure in a few minutes. (It will not get done for a couple more days and more conversations about bringing it upstairs until you finally threaten them with their lives)
Mom: Did you clean your room – Teenager: Yes (Everything is hidden under the bed or in closets, the dirty clothes are mixed with the clean ones that did not go in the drawers and everything will eventually have to be rewashed.)
Mom: Bring down your dirty clothes – Teenager: Sure in a few minutes (They will only bring them down right before it is time to go to bed, they will only bring down 1 pair of pants and 1 shirt and will inform you that this is what they want to wear to school tomorrow)
Before I go into a couple more examples please note that they will use the same answer for different questions. These most common answers are (1) yes and (2) in a few minutes.
Mom: Don’t eat that now, we are having dinner in 1 hour and then you won’t finish dinner. Teenager: But I’m hungry now and I promise I’ll still eat dinner. ( No I won’t really finish dinner but I need to feed the beast now)
Dad: Be home by 9:00 PM Teenager: OK ( I will call at 8:45 and say we are watching a movie and get to stay out until 10:00 or 11:00)
Dad: Did you finish all your homework. Teenager: Yes (Except the ones I did not want to try to do because it is cutting into my Xbox time)
Mom: When are you going to study for your test? Teenager: We reviewed it all in class. (I’m too smart to need to study I know this crap)
The list can go on and on, but you get my drift here. They say one thing but really mean another. They are in training to be the future politicians of the world. I mean, come on double talk has been around forever and that will never change. So it is best to try and understand things from the perspective that whatever is said is not really what is said but to figure out what it all means in a realistic sense.
As I sit here in front of the computer typing away, my mind wanders to the things I have said in the past but meant other things myself. I promise to keep this clean but you can use your imagination as you think of ones on your own. My old classic favorites “One more for the road” or “This is my final final”. Yes two ways of saying the exact same thing which really means “this is in no way my last drink but I’ll pretend it is.” You see as we get older we are more experienced than the teenagers as we have been doing it for so long that we have now come up with multiple ways to say the same thing which means something totally opposite of what we have said.
Our teenagers may think they are the masters of deception, but they don’t realize we have been there, done that and can do it better than them with our eyes closed. Oh yes and I promise I will come straight home after golfing with my buddies next week.(of course after that 2 hour 19th hole)
